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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25921036">Meant To Be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplemagic/pseuds/Purplemagic'>Purplemagic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>MDZS, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Misunderstandings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:47:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25921036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplemagic/pseuds/Purplemagic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wang Yibo breaks up with Xiao Zhan out of the blue without any explanation and this drives Xiao Zhan on a downward spiral risking his life and career.</p><p>Russian Translation - https://ficbook.net/readfic/9876084<br/>Thanks to user dartwood :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wang Yi Bo &amp; Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan, YiZhan - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Meant To Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just a small one shot to fulfill my Yizhan angst. This is purely fiction and not to be taken seriously. Enjoy reading and please leave comments with your feedback.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Breaking News! Wang Yibo has a girl friend! It's official!</p><p><br/>
For weeks, it has been speculated that may be Wang Yibo, the 22 year old actor has been secretly dating someone. Some sources say he is secretly dating his co star, Li Huian, from his latest TV show “Mad About You”, which is yet to be aired. And some say that it is one of the crew he met on the show. Neither his studio nor he denied the rumors till today but the rumors have finally been addressed. The nation’s sweetheart himself posted on his Weibo account that he is in fact in a relationship with someone. He did not reveal the name but requested his fans to support him and be happy for him.</p><p><br/>
Well for starters, whoever it is he is dating, we can all agree that she is one lucky girl and we wish them both happiness together. Tough luck girls, Wang Yibo is no longer single”</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan could not believe what he was reading. He immediately checked Yibo’s Weibo account and confirmed that the article was in fact accurate. Yibo’s and the actresses’s name had been trending since morning. Even though the article or Yibo did not mention any name, everyone has been speculating it's his co star from the show.</p><p><br/>
Zhan really couldn’t fathom the thought that the rumor could be true. But why did Yibo post this? Did someone else post it as a prank on him? Then why hasn’t he deleted it yet? </p><p><br/>
Zhan tried to call Yibo, but got his voice mail again. This was the 9th time he called Yibo in the past 2 hours. It has been 3 weeks since Yibo started ignoring him out of the blue. He was actually on his way to meet him at his hotel, Zhan was waiting for him but Yibo never showed up that night. When Zhan got worried and called him, his call went to voice mail directly. After about 100 messages and 200 missed calls in those first 3 days, Yibo finally replied to him on the 4th day with a simple text -</p><p><br/>
“I can’t do this anymore. Let’s end it here!”</p><p><br/>
Zhan didn’t know what went wrong. He wanted to confront Yibo for answers. But Yibo would not answer his calls again, no more messages after that. Zhan was too distraught…tried every possible way to figure out Yibo’s location so he can go and talk to him face to face. But he could not put his and Yibo’s careers at risk, so he waited patiently for Yibo to come back to him. He has been waiting for the past 2 weeks, hoping that Yibo would be back in his life. </p><p><br/>
But reading Yibo’s statement almost shattered him. He ignored the rumors till now because he believed there was no truth to them. The statement proved him wrong. He still doesn’t understand what he did wrong to upset Yibo. <em>Yibo left with no explanation and now he’s dating someone else? Why? Yibo never spoke of any girl when they met and now they are suddenly dating? There must have been a reason for him to do this. Why did he not discuss with him first?</em> Xiao Zhan kept staring at the phone blankly.</p><p><br/>
He wasn’t prepared for this, he had been drinking a lot past 2 weeks, hardly eating or sleeping. His fatigue was finally catching up to him and his eyes filled up with tears ready to drop any second now…when his manager opened the van door suddenly and shouted “They are ready for you, Zhan”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan tried to control his emotions and focus on the acting but he was lost and had to do too many retakes because he couldn’t get his dialogues right. He felt bad for wasting everyone’s time and effort but he was just not in the right mind to continue and thankfully his manager understood him. She gave him a slight nod and went over to speak to the director. </p><p><br/>
Zhan doesn’t know how she managed it but she found a way to get him home early that night. He kept checking social media news and every time it’s been the same. Yibo has a girl friend. The world will never let him forget that. </p><p><br/>
The ride to his apartment was pretty quiet but his manager spoke just before they dropped him off-</p><p><br/>
“Zhan, I know what’s wrong with you. I saw the news! I’m not sure what happened between you both but I can understand how you are feeling. I will still advice you to refrain from drinking tonight and get some good rest. We need to be on set by 6am tomorrow to make up for lost time today. Please eat something and sleep early. For God’s sake, do not try to contact him. Just wait until this subsides, he will come back to you to explain”</p><p><br/>
“You said the same thing a week ago. I waited patiently and look where that got me. I need answers now. I need to know what I did wrong. He owes me an explanation.” He said and hurried away into his apartment building. </p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
When Xiao Zhan approached his much younger co star on the first day of shooting on his new show, “The Untamed”, he just wanted to know the real Wang Yibo behind the aloof, cold and arrogant front he puts forth for everyone else to see. He just wished to have a decent chemistry with his co star, but what he got was a clingy little puppy who seemed extraordinarily infatuated with his older co star. </p><p><br/>
Yibo spent all his time on the set, next to Xiao Zhan, following him around, playing with him, singing, dancing, fighting, talking and may be even a little flirting. Zhan liked the attention.. the friendship…he never realized when the friendship became something more.. Yibo suddenly became his life, his love. His only one. But he didn’t know about Yibo’s feelings. Yibo remained the same clingy puppy, even after the shooting ended, during their time apart and even when they started the promotions. He was never clear or forward with his feelings and so Zhan didn’t probe in fear of losing his only true friend. </p><p><br/>
It was not until a month after the promotions for the show ended that Yibo suddenly called him one night wanting to see him urgently. It was the first time Yibo was at his apartment. When Zhan opened the door to let him in he was already half drunk and tripping but he came over because he needed to ask Zhan something important.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge…you look so good” he started as soon as he entered Zhan’s apartment.</p><p><br/>
“Bo di.. how drunk are you? Why did you come here so late in the night.. you should get some sleep.. you look tired Yibo.”</p><p><br/>
“Ge…I…I..its urgent…I need to ask you something.. I couldn’t wait”</p><p><br/>
“What is it? Sit first and do you want some water or may be some tea?”</p><p><br/>
“No.. listen to me first.. please”</p><p><br/>
“Ok..ok.. shoot.. what do you want to ask me?”</p><p><br/>
“I need to know”</p><p><br/>
“Hmm..about?”</p><p><br/>
“I want to ask you.. I want to know..about.. about..you”</p><p><br/>
“Huh? You are not making sense Yobi..have some water first” Zhan said handing him a glass.</p><p><br/>
“You.. Ge.. do you..how do you feel about me?”</p><p><br/>
Zhan dropped the glass, Yibo’s confrontation shocked him. He wasn’t expecting this.</p><p><br/>
“Ah! I’m sorry.. Yibo don’t move. Let me clean it up.” Zhan started to walk towards the kitchen, but Yibo held his wrist and turned him around.</p><p><br/>
“Answer me please”</p><p><br/>
“What are you talking about Yibo.. I don’t follow”</p><p><br/>
“I know that you understand what I’m talking about ge, so please answer me”</p><p><br/>
“We have been good friends for more than year now right! why are you asking this Bo di”</p><p><br/>
“Are we just friends? Zhan ge…do I mean nothing more to you?”</p><p><br/>
“What the hell are you talking about Bo di”</p><p><br/>
“Ge.. for me.. for me you are not just a friend.. you are more than that.. much more than that.. you are my everything..”</p><p><br/>
“Bo di.. really.. how drunk are you? Stop this ok.. you will regret it when you are sober in the morning tomorrow. Now don’t talk and just stand there. Have this water. I will clean up” Zhan cut him off and walked off into the kitchen.</p><p><br/>
Zhan cleaned up the broken glass and got some more water for Yibo, who was still standing at the exact same spot looking lost. He had the water again and Zhan took his hand and walked him to his bedroom and made him sleep. </p><p><br/>
“You still haven’t answered me” Yibo pouted.</p><p><br/>
“Go to sleep now Bo di.. we will talk in the morning. I promise I will answer all your questions tomorrow.” Zhan tucked him in and left to sleep on the couch.</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan was incredulous that Yibo had feelings for him. <em>That’s what his words meant right? Will he forget what he said in the morning? Should I come clean about my feelings? What if he was just kidding? It definitely did not seem like that, there was truth in his eyes.</em></p><p><br/>
Zhan could barely sleep that night. He got up way too early to prepare some hangover soup and coffee and waited for Yibo to wake up.</p><p>When Yibo walked out of his bedroom Zhan was stunned..<em>”how could he look soo good with his morning hair.. he is too beautiful”</em> he thought but did not speak out. He signaled Yibo to come sit by him and have the soup. </p><p><br/>
“So.. what is your answer.. tell me now” Yibo spoke even before he sat down properly. Zhan almost choked on his coffee.</p><p><br/>
“Why are you so surprised.. you said you will tell me in the morning. Well?.. Its morning now.. so tell me please” he cribbed</p><p><br/>
“I thought you will forget about that Bo di. You were pretty drunk last night. I thought…I thought you were kidding”</p><p><br/>
“You thought wrong and no I wasn’t kidding.. I really like you ge.. more than you know.. no wait.. that’s not true.. I love you Zhan ge. And I’ve had enough of this friendship.. I want more..I want to know if you feel the same about me”</p><p><br/>
“Mn” Zhan replied simply</p><p><br/>
“Mn? Mn..what? What do you mean?” Yibo demanded</p><p><br/>
“I mean.. Ok…we can be more than friends” Zhan smiled and Yibo jumped off his seat to run across the table and hug him.</p><p><br/>
“You are serious right? This means.. you like me right? Does this mean we are dating now?” Yibo almost crushed Zhan in his arms.</p><p><br/>
“Yes, yes.. and yes” Zhan hugged him back and kissed his forehead. </p><p><br/>
Yibo immediately closed the little gap between their faces and pressed his lips against Zhan’s.</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
The next two months were the happiest days of Yibo’s young life. He was dating his Zhan ge. He wanted this ever since the first day Xiao Zhan spoke to him on the set. He loved him so much and wanted to spend every minute with him. But their busy schedules made sure that was not possible.</p><p>Their popularity rose up to the top after the show aired and they are now the top CP in the nation. With increased popularity came increased pressure and more speculation about their true relationship off the camera. Yibo loved the fact that millions of people loved them together. But still worried if they would support the two of them if the truth ever came out. But that was a bridge they would cross when they get to it, Xiao Zhan told him. So Yibo tried his best living in the present.</p><p><br/>
It was almost time for the final concert for the Untamed.. in 3 weeks.. the show.. the promotions.. the concerts.. everything would be over. It would be a bittersweet ending to the best days of his life but Yibo hoped this would give both of them some breathing time to focus on upcoming projects and most importantly spend more cozy time with each other. The daily video calls or the weekly secret rendezvous were just not enough for Yibo. He wanted more. He wanted to be with Xiao Zhan as much as possible. Xiao Zhan was the best thing that ever happened to Yibo. </p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan indulged and pampered Yibo to the extent of spoiling him. He never said no to him. He agreed when Yibo wanted to reveal their relationship to their Untamed family after their Thailand concert and also agreed when he wanted to bring in the bodyguards and managers into the loop so that it would be easier for them to meet and talk as often as they could. He loved to see Yibo happy and smiling always and would do anything to keep that smile on his face. However busy his schedule was, he always found time for Yibo. Nothing else was important to him than Yibo. He loved cooking for him, loved waking up next to him, loved to draw his sleeping face every morning with his disheveled hair and lips bruised from previous night’s passionate love making.</p><p><br/>
The only time Zhan refused Yibo and upset him was when he refused to let his parents know of their relationship. Zhan was not ready to come out to his parents and was also worried if they would accept him and more importantly Yibo. His parents were not as open minded as Yibo’s. It was the first fight in their relationship. Yibo assumed Zhan was ashamed of him or not serious enough to be introduced to family yet. Yibo had met Xiao Zhan’s parents once when they visited Zhan..spoke to them a few times over the phone…he thought may be they liked him and would accept him. But Zhan knew his parents better..so he had to put in effort to make Yibo understand the situation and bought himself some more time before he was ready to reveal their relationship.</p><p>But when fans showed up at his house on his birth day with banners of “Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan Forever” things blew up at his house. He didn’t have time to prepare and had to blurt out the truth to his parents, but he was pleasantly surprised when his dad understood and supported him. His mom was whole another story and needed more time to convince. He vowed to himself that he will make her love Yibo, make her see how much Yibo means to him and how good he is to her son.</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
As soon as he was out of his manager’s sight, Zhan called Liu Haikuan.</p><p><br/>
“Please help me Haikuan. I really need to speak to him. I don’t know what else to do.”</p><p><br/>
“It’s ok, Xiao Zhan. I understand. I will see what I can do. Let me get back to you”</p><p><br/>
Zhan got to his room and waited. It was an hour already since Haikuan promised to track Yibo down for him. He got restless and opened up a beer and started going through the comments under Yibo’s post. Most of his fans were supportive of him, a few CP fans of theirs started with the hate messages accusing him of cheating on Xiao Zhan and ditching him for the new co star. He wanted to smack some sense into them but then again he was really ditched for the new girl in his life. He chest hurt..his heart was throbbing in pain and he just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry the night away. But he still wanted an explanation from Yibo. So he kept waiting.</p><p><br/>
He was on his second drink when Haikuan called.</p><p><br/>
“I can be there in 30 mins” He said and ran to his door. </p><p><br/>
When Zhan go to Haikuan’s apartment, he was almost breathless. It took him an hour to get there unnoticed and he was worried that he was late. But he was right on time because as soon as he walked in and thanked Haikuan for his help, he heard the knock on the door again. When Yibo walked in and saw Zhan, he immediately turned around, ready to leave but Haikuan held him back. </p><p><br/>
“C’mon Yibo, you came all the way. Please just talk to him for 5 mins”</p><p><br/>
“I came because you said it is an emergency. And you lied. So I’m leaving now”</p><p><br/>
He was still pleading with Yibo when Zhan suddenly walked up to the door and stood right in front making it impossible for Yibo to leave. </p><p><br/>
“I need to go” Yibo said rather flustered</p><p><br/>
“Not until you give me an explanation. You can’t walk in and out of my life as you please, Yibo. Take responsibility for what you put me through the past 3 weeks and help me understand what I did wrong." He demanded to know. When he saw the agitated look on Yibo's face, he instantly softened. </p><p>"I promise…I will make it up to you. I will do whatever you want, anything you say..I will change myself..If I hurt you by mistake I apologize…just please come back to me” Zhan pleaded with tears now running down his cheeks. </p><p><br/>
Yibo looked shocked.. he did not expect Xiao Zhan to be crying and pleading. But he remained still and maintained his composure. He was not going to crack after all this time.</p><p><br/>
“Please Bo di.. I..I love you.. I really do.. you know that right? I love more than you can imagine. Don’t ruin this for us. I thought everything was good, but if I did something to bother you, please just tell me and I promise I will make it right. I will never make you sad Yibo, I can do anything for you.” Zhan kept pleading.</p><p><br/>
“Stop it! You don’t have to do anything. You are perfect Zhan ge. It’s me Ok. I’m the one at fault. You must have read the news..I fell in love with someone else. I don’t think I love you anymore. That’s just it. I fell out of love. I’ve moved on already and would be better for you to do the same. Let me go now please” Yibo said with a straight face that almost killed any last ray of hope Xiao Zhan had left.</p><p><br/>
“That’s not true!” Zhan snapped. “Don’t say that Bo di. Y..y…you.. you said.. you loved me. You wanted to be more than friends. You said you will be my side forever” Zhan stuttered now.</p><p><br/>
“I did. Yes, but that’s in the past now. Now I love someone else. It is what it is. Let me go now and please stop calling and harassing me. It irritates my girl friend!”</p><p><br/>
Zhan fell silent unable to speak anymore. He stood there staring blankly into the air for a while.. then opened the door and walked out without looking back. </p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
Yibo felt his knees give away when he saw Xiao Zhan walk out like that.. heart broken and dejected..he almost fell to the floor before Haikuan caught him upright.</p><p><br/>
“Why are you doing this Yibo, when you yourself are this hurt! Is there a reason you are pushing him away? You are the one who went after him and now you are abandoning him? At least tell me the reason?”</p><p><br/>
Yibo could not control himself anymore, he started bawling his eyes out but still could not answer Haikuan. He cried for a while, then got up and left.</p><p><br/>
It was a month ago that everything in his life changed. Yibo was supposed to meet Xiao Zhan in his hotel after his drama shoot in Shanghai. He texted Zhan to let him know that he was on his way and would reach in an hour. Zhan had left the key for him with his bodyguard downstairs…Yibo picked it up and entered the room early to surprise him.. Zhan was in the shower and his phone was ringing.</p><p><br/>
Yibo checked the number displayed.. it was Zhan’s Mom.. she has been calling him for quite sometime. Yibo saw the number of missed calls and worried it could be an emergency. So he picked up the call without a second thought…and before he could say hello.. he heard the voice from the other end.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan Zhan, I don’t care how much you hate me and how ever long you ignore me. I will not let this go today. You promised me you will break up with him and now it is high time you do so. I do not want to hear any more excuses from you”</p><p><br/>
<em>Zhan ge was goin to break up with me?</em> Yibo’s heart shattered to pieces when he heard that. His mother continued before he could even process this.</p><p><br/>
“I will not let you continue this. You better give me an answer, young man!”</p><p><br/>
“Helloo.. Zhan.. Zhan.. Xiao Zhan.. talk to me will you?”</p><p><br/>
Yibo’s mouth went dry and he could hardly speak but managed to find his voice and answer her.</p><p><br/>
“Ah Auntie! It’s me.. Wang Yibo.. Sorry.. I answered Zhan ge’s phone. Ge is in the shower i believe.. do you want me to give him any message”</p><p><br/>
“Oh! Yibo! I’m sorry you had to hear that.. but I hope you understand Yibo.. what you two are doing is not good for either of you…or your careers. You will just end up hurting each other. And I want grand children, I want him to marry some nice young girl and live a normal peaceful life. The life that he always dreamed of Yibo. He wanted kids, he loves children. And this… you two…all our relatives and neighbors keep asking me if the rumors are true. I can’t keep doing this anymore. So I told him. I was very clear with this when he visited me on his Birthday. I…I thought that your relation is just temporary.. that he’s experimenting or something.. but it can never be anything more than that Yibo.. You understand me right? You get where I’m going with this?”</p><p><br/>
Yibo could hardly say anything back.</p><p><br/>
“Mn” he mumbled</p><p><br/>
“I know, Zhan Zhan promised me he will do what I say..he promised that he will break up with you if things get out of control… but I want it right away Yibo… if he’s not listening to me, then I want you to help me.”</p><p><br/>
Yibo listened to what she had to say.. he really listened and even considered waiting for Xiao Zhan to talk to him about the call. But he was not in the right mind.. he couldn’t think straight. He decided to get out of that place before he faced Zhan.</p><p>Yibo went back to his hotel and noticed the missed calls from Xiao Zhan but he was not ready to answer yet. He needed time to figure out what he needed to do after listening to his mother. His mother’s words kept repeating in his head non stop. He kept thinking over and over about what he needs to do. He couldn’t ignore the fact that Xiao Zhan had his life planned differently before Yibo became part of it. <br/>
His mother will never accept us both and Zhan ge will only end up hating me eventually if I keep him away from his family. Yibo thought.<br/>
<em>May be I’m not right for him, may be we are not meant to be. The country will not accept us..the family will not.. Zhan ge will never has his own kids..his mother will not have grand kids..we may not have our careers if we keep this up and the truth gets out…we will only end up hurting each other more..may be I did not think this through.</em></p><p><br/>
<em>I can’t do that to him. Zhan ge deserves happiness. He will get over me soon. I was the one who pushed him into the relationship. I can walk out anytime I want. It’s not like he loves me as much as I do.. he never…he never even told me that he loves me. And he promised his mother that he will break up with me at the first sign of trouble.</em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>I should save him the trouble. I should be the one to end this for him.</em>
</p><p><br/>
Yibo ignored Xiao Zhan’s messages and texts for the next 3 days. But he had to let Zhan know eventually. So he finally texted him that their relationship is over. He broke up with the love of his life over a text message. It almost broke him, breaking up with Xiao Zhan, not being able to kiss him ever again.. not being a part of his life..Yibo never expected to lose Zhan this way. But he kept telling himself that he had to do this. He had to do this for his Zhan ge’s sake.</p><p><br/>
Yibo also did not expect Xiao Zhan to be this persistent. Zhan never missed a chance to text or call Yibo every second he could spare in his busy daily life. He kept this up for 2 full weeks before the volume of messages subsided.</p><p><br/>
“I don’t know the reason but looks like you need some space from me. I don’t want it but will do it for you. I will wait for you to explain this situation to me one day.. I will wait until you come back into my life Bo di.. I will wait as long as you want. I will not let you go this easily” Zhan had texted last. This was a week ago and since then Yibo had been thinking ways on how to make Zhan believe that he was no longer interested. </p><p><br/>
It was a nightmare for Yibo those 2 weeks to avoid Xiao Zhan. He wanted to pick up the phone many times and talk to him about what his mother said. But he didn’t. He overworked himself to avoid thinking about Xiao Zhan. To kill his spare time, he even attended few parties and events, which he would have normally avoided. He kept himself on his toes 24x7 to avoid going home to an empty apartment without Zhan.</p><p><br/>
It was just an unfortunate incident when the rumors about him dating his co star started. Both of them were out on a team event but they were spotted and photographed apart from the group and the rumor mill started instantly. It was fortunate though that the photo was too blurry to clearly identify the girl in the picture. Yibo thought this was a chance and he practically forced his studio to agree to his plan. He convinced them of the positive buzz this would create for the show and how people will be eager to watch the show…to quench their curiosity for the supposed couple’s chemistry.</p><p><br/>
They were not fully onboard but Yibo posted the statement being careful to avoid any names. He had to sit through an hour of his CEO and his manager yelling at him for the post but it was now too late for damage control. So they decided to just let things be for now and let the rumors die down in its own time.</p><p><br/>
Yibo knew how much this would hurt Xiao Zhan. But his brain made him believe that this would finally draw the line and give Xiao Zhan a reason to move on from him… forget him and start life new. He just got out of his studio’s office to get back to shooting when he got the call from Li Haikuan. </p><p><br/>
Haikuan sounded desperate and wanted to see Yibo immediately. Yibo cancelled his shoot and went to meet his friend immediately without worrying about the consequences. He did not expect to see Xiao Zhan there and definitely did not expect him to plead or cry or profess his love finally.</p><p><br/>
<em>You are telling me now that you love me? I waited so long to hear this from you.. you never once told me that you love me. Why?</em> Yibo thought and cried inside.</p><p><br/>
He was on the verge of breaking down but he had to stay strong if this had to work. So he kept calm and continued looking down on the ground avoiding Zhan’s gaze. Then he made up a bunch of lies whatever he could come up with and broke Xiao Zhan forever. </p><p><br/>
Even if Xiao Zhan was ever able to forget and forgive him for this, he won’t be able to forgive himself for hurting his Zhan ge.</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
To say that Xiao Zhan is heart broken would be an understatement. He never knew that he could love someone so much that it physically hurt when they are no longer in his life. </p><p><br/>
<em>Why is this happening to me? Was I not good to Yibo? Did I not love him enough? Was he just using me? Was he just experimenting to figure himself out? Was I bad in bed? Am I the only pathetic one in the world who’s boyfriend fell out of love with him for no reason? What did I do wrong?</em> His brain was flooded with negativity.</p><p><br/>
Even if the romance was short lived, Xiao Zhan loved Yibo for a long time. He had known Yibo for a long time and has been his best friend for so long before they took the next step into the relationship. That is why Xiao Zhan was baffled about Yibo’s sudden change in attitude and how he never knew about this unreasonable side of Yibo. But there was no point in blaming Yibo for anything. No point in hating someone else when the fault lies with you. This wasn’t the first time he got dumped and this wouldn’t be the last time mostly.</p><p><br/>
Yibo’s words kept ringing in his head “I don’t love you anymore”. <em>He has moved on already. He no longer loves me. How am I supposed to move on? How can I ever love anyone else? Do I deserve to love anyone else? Do I even want to love anyone else now? May be we were never meant to be!<br/>
</em></p><p><br/>
So Xiao Zhan did the only thing he knew to handle the loneliness and depression.. he drank until he was no longer able to entertain all these thoughts and just feel the emptiness take over him. He knew this would affect this work but he no longer cared. He can’t pretend to be happy anymore when he wasn’t. He started being late to shoots, he would mess up lines, he would need more breaks, would take on less and less work as time went on and finally reached a stage where he was drunk in the day at work and would behave like a zombie walking around with no emotions left.</p><p><br/>
It didn’t take time for people to notice. Everyone knew something was wrong with him.. but very few knew the reason. His Untamed family who tried whatever they could to bring Yibo back and failed. His own family who knew that he has become isolated and drunk but did not know how to help. His manager and studio who kept covering for him on numerous occasions but is now on the brink of giving up. </p><p><br/>
He avoided friends, parties, events.. became aloof and no longer wanted to be in anyone’s presence. It scared him that everyone would leave him eventually and he would be lonely again. He refused everyone’s support and help. He just wanted to be left alone. No one could fill the void left by Yibo, no one could help him. He was on a path of self destruction and no one could stop him.</p><p><br/>
It was the worst day of his life.. just as bad as the day Yibo left…he showed up at work to shoot an ad, hungover…somehow managed to get his hair and make up done but when the set was ready for the shoot and his manager came into the dressing room to inform him, he had puked and passed out completely. His manager somehow convinced everyone that he was dehydrated and passed out from exhaustion and had him admitted to the hospital. </p><p><br/>
When Zhan opened his eyes in the hospital, he was surrounded by his closest friends, manager and parents. He thought they would be rebuked by the incident…would hate him for his unprofessionalism and his recent strange behavior. But all he saw was concern and worry in everyone’s eyes. They all still loved him and cared for him. They just wanted him to get better and be back to normal. This just increased Xiao Zhan’s guilt by tenfold. He remained in the hospital for the next 3 days upon insistence from his parents. But being sober brought back all the thoughts that he had been trying out bury for the past 5 months…all the memories of Yibo. Everyone who loved him was here, but Yibo was not. And he would never visit him. Zhan knew that. Without the alcohol now, he could only cry himself to sleep every night. </p><p><br/>
He wanted out of this misery, so he decided to discharge himself out. But his loved ones had a different plan. He was forced to take a holiday and go back to his home town with his parents. This made things even worse but he really couldn’t refuse Haikuan and Xuan Lu. They made him promise that he will take a break and only come back when he feels better. He also had to promise not to touch alcohol for a while.</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
Yibo knew how much he hurt Xiao Zhan and he has not been able to forgive himself for that. He has been keeping a tab on the older and knows how his life has spiraled downhill since their break up. But he still hoped that his Zhan ge will put everything behind him and bounce back soon. He found solace in the thought that Xiao Zhan will eventually have a normal happy life that he always dreamed of.</p><p><br/>
His world came crashing down when he heard that Xiao Zhan was admitted to hospital. His legs trembled when he heard the news..he immediately rushed to the hospital and saw that Xiao Zhan was surrounded by friends and family..people who stayed by his side when he abandoned him. He did not have the guts to walk in and check up on him. He had no right to and he also knew his mother would not be happy seeing him there. So he waited outside the room until Xiao Zhan gained consciousness careful not to gain attention. And he visited the next couple of days until Zhan left the hospital and moved back home.</p><p><br/>
Guilty wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how Yibo felt those 3 days. He drove Xiao Zhan to this state, he knew it but could do nothing about it. He no longer believed that he was doing the right thing. Seeing in person how broken Xiao Zhan was made him realize that may be he made a mistake. May be he should have talked to Zhan first before deciding about their future and life. He wanted to talk to him, beg for his forgiveness. He wasn’t sure if Zhan would forgive him or take him back, he wasn’t hoping for that. He just wanted Xiao Zhan to forget everything to move on.. be happy again.. be himself again. </p><p><br/>
So the least Yibo could do was to talk to him and explain everything to him. He didn’t care about the the outcome of the conversation, he had to come clean. He reached the hospital on the 4th day, fully determined to enter the room finally and have the talk with Zhan but when he got there, he found the room empty. He tried calling Xiao Zhan, even texted him but his phone was switched off. He didn’t know where he went and regretted losing his chance again to make amends.</p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
It’s been a week now since Zhan was discharged from the hospital and moved back to his parents house. His mother has been trying to feed him incessantly and he has already put on some weight. But he didn’t care anymore. He was kind of thinking to quit the industry now and move back home to his old designer life. There was nothing left for him in Beijing. He even started looking for places to live.</p><p>He almost thought he could get his life back in control when his mother switched on the TV one night at dinner and Yibo’s latest series was on. Watching him in the show with his girlfriend, on a date and kissing was all it took for Xiao Zhan’s world to come down crumbling. He knew that this was just acting and it should be taken professionally but Xiao Zhan knew that this is what those two might be doing right now. Being happy in each other’s presence, in each other’s arms..Yibo was in love with her and it just hurt so bad that Zhan had to storm out and find a place to drink alone.</p><p><br/>
It was a risky move, he could be easily recognized and people could swarm around him within secs. But he needed a drink badly. He decided to go to an old acquaintance’s place that he used to frequent when he was in college, a place where he knew, he could get some privacy from the snooping eyes around him. </p><p><br/>
“Oh my God! Zhan Zhan.. it’s been forever.. how have you been?” The old man behind the bar greeted him.</p><p><br/>
“Sshhh.. pls be quiet Uncle”</p><p><br/>
“Ah! Ah! i’m sorry.. I understand”</p><p><br/>
“Can I just sit at the back room and drink like old days? Please don’t tell anyone I’m here”</p><p><br/>
“Ofcourse! Ofcourse! Go ahead back, i’ll get the drinks right away”</p><p><br/>
“Thank you” Zhan said and disappeared into the back</p><p><br/>
The drinks kept coming and he kept emptying bottles, not sure for how long. But his phone was also ringing non stop with calls from his parents. He knows he should may be at least let them know where he was but he couldn’t disappoint them anymore. He would just get back apologize later. He kept drinking until he almost passed out and doesn’t even remember how he got back home. When he opened his eyes, he heard his parents arguing.</p><p><br/>
“I think, this has gone on for too long now. I don’t think he will ever recover from this. It’s time to tell him.. either you do it or I will have to” he heard his father say.</p><p><br/>
“Are you saying this is all my fault?” his mother snapped back.</p><p><br/>
“I’m not! I do not want to blame anyone, it’s not anyone’s fault.”</p><p><br/>
“I know, I only did what I thought was right for him.. because I wanted him to be normal..to be happy. If I had known he would be this hurt then I would have never asked Yibo to break up with him. But what can I do now? How do I make him better? I can’t keep on with this anymore” she was crying now when the door suddenly opened and Xiao Zhan walked out.</p><p><br/>
“What did you just say?” he kneeled in front of his mom and questioned her.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan Zhan.. are you fine now? We didn’t mean to wake you? Shall I make you some tea or..”</p><p><br/>
“Just.. just tell me what you just said. Please just explain to me what is the meaning behind that” he stopped her midway</p><p><br/>
She hesitated and looked at her husband.</p><p><br/>
“I swear I won’t be mad, just please tell me what happened” Zhan was crying now.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan Zhan please.. please don’t cry. It’s all my fault. It’s my fault that you are suffering like this. I never knew that you loved Wang Yibo so much. I didn’t know Zhan.. I was wrong.. i got greedy for grand kids.. i thought you will be happy.. I thought… i thought..” she couldn’t continue anymore and kept crying</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan gently wiped her tears..”So what did you do?”</p><p><br/>
“It was the day when you fought with me and were not picking my calls. Then suddenly you answered and I blurted out my frustration.. but it was only after a few mins that I realized that I was speaking to Yibo. He picked your phone when you were in the shower. So I asked him.. it was for you Zhan.. I did it for you… I asked him to break up with you. I told him that you promised me to break up with him soon. I think that is why he walked out of your life. I’m so sorry Zhan Zhan.. I didn’t know I would put you through this much pain and suffering.”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan was calm. He couldn’t be angry at his mother.. not for long atleast. And now he knows the reason why Yibo walked out on him so suddenly. But he didn’t know if Yibo still loved him or has moved on like he said. The revelation did not change anything for Zhan. He knew that this wasn’t going to bring Yibo back to him. He has moved on and one day eventually Zhan will have to accept that. </p><p><br/>
“Thanks Mom, thanks for telling me.. I’m fine.. really. Do not worry about me”  Zhan said and went back to bed. The next morning, he leaves for Beijing on the first flight. </p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan was back at work, he was back to pretending that he was ok, making everyone believe that he has moved on from his bad phase and recovered fully now. But he knew the truth, he just got better at hiding his feelings now. He was still hurting and suffering and drinking. Zhan had made up his mind to leave this industry once and for all. He just had to finish his ongoing works and not take up anything new. He had to manage all his contracts and then leave this town..leave Yibo and go back to his old life. Find his way back again as a designer.</p><p><br/>
Nothing else had changed in his life..nothing that anyone was aware of…but it was about to. He was about to meet Wang Yibo after all this time.. coming face to face since the day he walked out on him in Haikuan’s house. It was the anniversary success party for the Untamed and the whole cast and crew were expected to make an appearance. He can not avoid it but still hoped he could steer clear of any direct confrontation with Yibo. He was still not ready for it. Might never be.</p><p><br/>
Finally..it was the day of the party. He had to fly in from Shanghai and directly arrive at the party. He was tired from the long shoot and already dreading the meeting with Yibo. Yibo was already there with rest of the cast when Zhan walked in. He made a conscious effort to not look directly at Yibo’s face, not make eye contact or not shake hands. He just acknowledged his presence for a brief moment and move on to meet and greet rest of the cast and friends. He could feel Yibo’s stare on his back, like he always felt. Yibo always stared at him, during the shooting, during interviews, at all award shows, at all events and reality shows they attended together.. everywhere.. Yibo always looked at him.</p><p><br/>
But this time it felt different. Like there was no emotion behind the look. Once he’s met up with everyone, Xiao Zhan went to the open bar to pick up a drink. Everyone almost glared at him instantly..”I will be fine.. I promise.. I will be under control. C’mon let me enjoy a little.. been a while” he said and laughed it off to everyone’s dismay.</p><p><br/>
He must have imagined it or he must have been drunk already, but Xiao Zhan felt like Yibo was trying to get his attention..atleast twice Yibo tried to come up to him to start a conversation but he managed to escape him somehow. He wasn’t so lucky the third time when Yibo cornered him in the restroom. They had just cut the cake together and walked into the rest room to wash their hands. Yibo immediately locked the door behind him not giving Zhan a chance to run away this time.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge.. I need to talk to you. Can you please give me 5 mins?”</p><p><br/>
“Yibo..I think we should get back.. everyone must be waiting for us”</p><p><br/>
“Let them wait. I just have to talk to you. I need to explain something to you. Please give one chance Zhan ge”</p><p><br/>
“It’s ok Yibo. I know what you want to tell me. And it does not matter. Now let’s get back”</p><p><br/>
“Wait! Zhan ge..please.. you don’t know.. you need to know Zhan ge. I’ve been trying to tell you since the day you got admitted in hospital. Please give me one chance to explain”</p><p><br/>
“You were at the hospital?”</p><p><br/>
Yibo remained quiet looking down at the floor. He did not want that to slip out.</p><p><br/>
“Yibo? Answer me.. were you at the hospital? Why didn’t you see me then?”</p><p><br/>
“Hmm.. yes I was.. but I was a coward to come into the room and meet you.. and your mother…you..your family was with you.. I didn’t want to disturb”</p><p><br/>
“Why were you at the hospital Yibo? Did your girlfriend know? Is she okay with you meeting me? Does she…does she know..about us?”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan’s question hurt yibo deep and he wanted to scream that he did not have any girlfriend. But that was not the point of this conversation. He cornered Zhan to let him know the reason of why he had to break up with him. So that he will move on, find someone suitable for him and his family.. move on and stop hurting himself and his career.</p><p><br/>
“That’s not the point! I was worried and wanted to see you”</p><p><br/>
“Ok Bo-di..keep your voice down. Someone might hear and misunderstand”</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge.. I wanted to meet you because I had to tell you something.. something important”</p><p><br/>
“I already know about it Bo di, so you can let go now”</p><p><br/>
“What do you know Zhan ge?”</p><p><br/>
“I know why you broke up with me. I heard from my mother couple of weeks back”</p><p><br/>
“And.. and you are ok with that? You are not mad that I made such a decision to end our relationship all on my own without consulting you?”</p><p><br/>
“Is this talk to tell me the truth or rid you of your guilt, Bo di” Xiao Zhan said rather indifferently. </p><p><br/>
The words stabbed at Yibo’s heart but he knew he deserved it..after all the pain he put the older man through.. he deserved the pain.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge..I’m truly sorry..I didn’t want to hurt you.. but I didn’t know what else to do”</p><p><br/>
Tears were now filling up Zhan’s eyes and he was fighting them hard.</p><p><br/>
“As I said before.. it’s ok Bo di.. you did what you thought was right.. my mother asked you to do something which she thought was right for me..just that no one bothered to check with me what I wanted for my life. But it’s in the past now right? You said you’ve moved on and I will eventually learn to cope with it. I have to go now Yibo. It was nice catching up. See you later. Always be happy Bo di. Bye” with that Zhan walked out on Yibo again.</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
Yibo thought that telling Zhan the truth will feel good…that may be he will be relieved of some of his guilt. But Xiao Zhan already knew the truth and didn’t seem much affected by it. Yibo thought that may be his Zhan ge has finally given up on him and that feeling really crushed him. He must still think that he was in a relationship with someone else. He didn’t know that it was all a ruse to make him believe in the break up. May be he should have come clean about the fake relationship too.</p><p><br/>
Now it’s too late, Xiao Zhan was not in a state to believe anything anymore. He didn’t want anything to do with Yibo anymore. Xiao Zhan’s apathy the last time they met hurt Yibo at a different level. But he believed he deserved the hurt and the pain..all of it.</p><p><br/>
Yibo has heard the rumors…Xiao Zhan was not taking up any new work. Everyone suspected that he might be leaving the industry..leaving acting..singing..everything behind to move back to his hometown. There were even rumors that Zhan had bought himself an apartment in an upscale neighborhood of the city and is about to unveil his own design studio. But these were just rumors and Yibo did not want to believe them…not until he heard it himself from his Zhan ge. He also knew that it would never happen…Xiao Zhan might never speak to him again. He just wanted his Zhan ge to be happy but he managed to drive him away from his career, his passion..his everything. Yibo realized that at the end of it all, neither of them were happy and it was all his own fault.</p><p><br/>
Two weeks had passed since Yibo last saw Xiao Zhan and tonight they were about to meet again. For the year end awards where they both won an award together for being the most popular actors of the year. They might sit separately during the show but would have to walk to the stage together to accept the award together and Yibo hoped that might give him a chance to speak to Zhan again. He was determined to talk to Zhan and confront him about the rumors.. if true he would convince him to stay…pursue his career.. if someone has to leave..it would be him.. he would leave everything behind and disappear from his life.</p><p><br/>
Yibo’s flight got delayed and he barely made it to the award show about 30 minutes before it was time to receive his award. He quickly changed and found his place at his designated seat, next to his co star and rumored girl friend. His eyes soon wandered around to spot Xiao Zhan, sitting couple of rows behind him and focused on the on going performance…he barely noticed Yibo’s presence. It would be their turn soon to accept their award..he has to somehow convince Xiao Zhan tonight. </p><p><br/>
When their names were announced, Yibo got up and waited for Xiao Zhan to walkup to him, but Xiao Zhan just kept walking to the stage without even glancing at Yibo. Yibo followed him..like he’s used to.. they accepted the award together, thanked and wished everyone for their continued support and walked off backstage. </p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge” Yibo called immediately before he could lose sight of Xiao Zhan</p><p><br/>
“Ah yes Yibo?”</p><p><br/>
“Do you have a minute, I need to talk to you”</p><p><br/>
“Hmm..about what?”</p><p><br/>
“Please can you just spare me a few minutes. It’s important” Yibo begged. Zhan could see the desperation in his eyes.</p><p><br/>
“Ok. Fine! Tell me”</p><p><br/>
“Let’s get in here” Yibo ushered him into the nearest dressing room and Zhan followed, locking the door behind him.</p><p><br/>
“Hmm..Zhan ge.. how have you been?” Yibo enquired</p><p><br/>
“I thought you have something to tell me…just get it over with Bo di.. I don’t want anyone notice that we’ve been gone too long” Zhan said displeased</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge… are you really planning to leave?”</p><p><br/>
“Yeah.. as soon as you tell me what you need to. I have an early morning flight to catch”</p><p><br/>
“No! I mean.. are you planning to leave this industry..this city.. and go back to your old life?”</p><p><br/>
“Oh! That! Hmm.. Yes Yibo.. I’m seriously considering that option. I really do want to leave everything behind”</p><p><br/>
“Don’t! Zhan ge.. please don’t do that!” Yibo yelped</p><p><br/>
“And why should I not?” Xian Zhan said casually.</p><p><br/>
“It’s my fault..everything that went wrong between us! I don’t want to you to suffer for my mistakes. I will go away.. I will disappear from your life.. pls don’t quit Zhan ge.. I know ho much you love acting and singing.. if you are bothered by my presence.. I will disappear from your life.. from this industry”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan was stunned.</p><p><br/>
“Why would you say that Bo di..that’s not true! I’m not bothered by your presence”</p><p><br/>
“Then why are you leaving?”</p><p><br/>
“That has nothing to do with you!”</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge please! I know..it’s because of me!”</p><p><br/>
“Bo di, I don’t have time for this. I need to go now.”</p><p><br/>
“Please Zhan ge. Don’t do it. Don’t throw away your dream, you worked really hard for it, I..”</p><p><br/>
“And..you did not work hard for your career? Stop this now Yibo”. Zhan cut him off. He tried to walk out of the room but was stopped by Yibo again.</p><p><br/>
“Ge..I’m sorry for everything ok.. I truly am. I know it’s all my fault and so I need to be the one who leaves. I just waned you to be happy Zhan ge.. I wanted you to achieve your dreams. I can’t bear to see you suffering because of me.. I can’t see you in pain”</p><p><br/>
“That’s enough Yibo. I mean it! My decision to leave has nothing to do with you” Zhan was now avoiding direct contact with Yibo’s eyes.</p><p>He never could look at that face and lie to him.</p><p><br/>
“Then why are you not looking at me straight. I know you are lying! Look into my eyes and tell me that I’m not the reason you decided to leave” Yibo pulled Xiao Zhan closer and forced him to look into his eyes.</p><p><br/>
“Stop it Yibo! Let’s get out of here first. Your girl friend must be looking for you. Don’t you guys have an after party to attend?” Xiao Zhan pulled away and got to the door to leave but Yibo held him back again.</p><p><br/>
“That’s not important! She’s not important. I want to finish this conversation”</p><p><br/>
“You can’t treat all your lovers like you’ve treated me Yibo. She doesn’t deserve it. I’ve heard she is a kind and good person, please be good to her…”</p><p><br/>
“I don’t have to be good to anyone.”</p><p><br/>
“Bo di!”</p><p><br/>
“She’s not my girl friend alright! I lied to you. I lied to everyone.” Yibo blurted and the sudden revelation caused Xiao Zhan to tremble.</p><p>The shock made his heart weak.. Yibo held him up and walked him to the nearest chair to sit. Then kneeled in front of him, tears filling him up. He took Zhan’s face in his hands.</p><p><br/>
“Ge..look at me! I know it’s hard to digest. I’ve made many mistakes and you might not want to forgive me. But it’s the truth. I don’t have a girl friend. I don’t love anyone else. I only said that because I wanted you to move on from the break up then. You kept calling and texting me, I didn’t know what else to do. It was a stupid idea I know! At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. But I know now, how much I made you suffer.” He now let his tears fall and continued.</p><p><br/>
“You lied to me! All this time. I doubted myself for so long. I hated myself”</p><p><br/>
“I know ge, even if I apologize a thousand times, I won’t be able to make it up to you. But you have to believe me. I’ve only ever loved you in my life. I will never love anyone else, I can never think of anyone else. You are the only one for me ge. I was also in pain, I was also equally suffering all these months” Xiao Zhan was also crying uncontrollably now. </p><p><br/>
“When I saw you in the hospital…it almost killed me ge..I was there everyday.. I wanted to come in and tell you that it was all my fault. I could cope with seeing you in the hospital but I will not be able to live with myself if you quit and move away from here. I won’t let that happen. I won’t ask you to forgive me or take me back..I know I don’t deserve it after what I did.. but i’ll be damned if you ruin your life because of me Zhan ge”</p><p><br/>
“Will you please say something?” Yibo wiped Zhan’s tears</p><p><br/>
“What do you want me to say. I can’t believe what I’m hearing Bo di”</p><p><br/>
“Just tell me you will reconsider. I promise you, I will walk away from everything if that is what you want. But you can’t leave..promise me ge”</p><p><br/>
“I can’t let you do that either Bo di. I can’t let you ruin your career and life for my sake”</p><p><br/>
“But I’m willing to do it for you”</p><p><br/>
“No you won’t.”</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge”</p><p><br/>
“Bo di”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan suddenly grabbed Yibo and hugged him tight. It was awkward at first but they just needed slight comfort at the moment. The familiar scent and feeling of each other’s arms was overwhelming to both of them. After a long silence, Yibo reluctantly asked</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge…can you take me back? Can we start all over again?”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan immediately pulled away from the hug. He wasn’t prepared for this.</p><p><br/>
“Yibo..I don’t think we should!. I’m not sure I can trust…”</p><p><br/>
“It’s ok ge, you don’t have to answer now. Don’t have to think about it now. Forget that I asked. Just promise me that you won’t leave” Yibo cut him off before Zhan could answer.</p><p><br/>
“I will have to think about it Yibo. I promise you I will think. I have to go now” with that Xiao Zhan got up and left the dressing room without glancing back. He soon found his manager and left the venue without further delay. He needed to be home, lie on his bed and get his thoughts sorted after what Yibo told him tonight.</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
Everything has been a lie. The heartbreak and the suffering was all for a lie. Xiao Zhan felt dejected. He didn’t know how to process this information. He wasn’t sure if he was delighted that Yibo still loved him or angry that he lied. All this while he waited Yibo to come back to him..waited for an explanation on what he did wrong..hoped they could get back together. Till now he was ready to fall back in love with Yibo, but after tonight he didn’t know if he could trust Yibo like before. His phone chimed suddenly bringing him back to reality.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge.. did you get home safe? Please do think about what I asked. Hope you are not drinking. Sleep well and have a safe flight tomorrow. I will wait for your call.”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan did not reply.</p><p><br/>
When he woke up, he saw another message from Yibo.</p><p><br/>
“Good morning Zhan ge..hope you slept well. Have a good day”</p><p><br/>
He did not reply again.</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan was confused. Confused about his feelings, confused about the decision he had already taken. He was ready to give up everything and leave but now Yibo had made it difficult again. His heart was now yearning for Yibo again but his mind warned him that he could not be trusted again. The fight between his heart and mind was exhausting, Zhan for once wanted to forget everything and focus on the shoot but Yibo had been messaging him relentlessly every chance he gets for the past 3 days. It made him wonder if Yibo has always been this clingy.</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge..I don’t want to push you…but have you decided yet?”</p><p><br/>
“Ge..remember that I love you”</p><p><br/>
“Ge..can we meet once? When will you be back in Beijing?”</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge..can we please talk once? You haven’t replied to any of my messages. Please don’t ignore me. I’m sorry for everything.”</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan has not responded to him yet because he still hasn’t made up his mind. But he knew that he has to respond to Yibo eventually. So he texted him finally.</p><p><br/>
“I’ll be back on 20th. If you are around, come over to my place. We need to talk”</p><p><br/>
“Thank you Zhan ge..I’ll adjust my schedule to meet you on 20th. See you soon” Yibo almost immediately replied.</p><p><br/>
Xiao Zhan was worn out after the week long outdoor shoot but still stopped on the way home to buy some ingredients so he could cook for Yibo that night. Zhan cooked Yibo’s favorite noodles, opened a bottle of wine and waited for him. It was half past ten by the time Yibo got there and Zhan had been waiting for too long already. Yibo apologized but was elated when he learnt that Zhan cooked for him. They had their dinner in a bit of an awkward silence and then moved to the couch with their wine.</p><p><br/>
“Bo di…I’ve made my decision” Zhan immediately started.</p><p><br/>
Yibo’s heart was pounding now. He was dreading this moment.. the moment when Xiao Zhan gently rejects him.</p><p><br/>
“I thought a lot about this, and I think I want to stick to my decision. I want a break from this industry. I have decided to go back for now.”</p><p><br/>
“Zhan ge..No.. please don’t do that. I can’t see you suffer anymore than you already did. Please don’t leave. I will go away from here. I will not bother you anymore. I promise.”</p><p><br/>
“Bo di..listen to me. This has nothing to do with you. I agree, our breakup was the reason, I ever thought about this, if we were still together, this thought would have never crossed my mind. But it did and now this is what I want. I don’t know how long it’s going to be for. I just know that for now, at this moment, I need to leave this all behind and focus on myself for a while.”</p><p><br/>
Yibo burst into tears. Xiao Zhan picks up Yibo’s hands and gently kisses them.</p><p><br/>
“Bo di.. please don’t cry. I love you so much and I can’t see you cry”</p><p><br/>
Yibo could not believe what he just heard.</p><p><br/>
“You still love me?”</p><p><br/>
“Ofcourse I do. I will always love you. Even if you really fall out of love with me or find someone else..I will only love you Yibo.” Zhan reaches out and kisses Yibo’s forehead.</p><p><br/>
“And that is why, I want to give us, our relantionship, another chance as well.“</p><p><br/>
Yibo’s eyes lit up instantly.</p><p><br/>
“But how.. if you leave.. then..”</p><p><br/>
“Well, if we both truly love each other then we can make the long distance work. Can’t we?”</p><p><br/>
Yibo was baffled for a second but understood what Zhan meant and promptly started nodding. </p><p><br/>
“Yes.. yes.. I love you so much Zhan ge.. I will do whatever you want. I will make long distance relationship work. You wait and see. I will never upset you again. I promise. I love you.. I love you” Yibo kept badgering Zhan’s face with kisses.  </p><p><br/>
Zhan pulls back for a second to look at Yibo’s face. </p><p><br/>
“I love you too Bo di” he smiles gently showing off that million dollar smile that makes Yibo go wild.</p><p><br/>
They smile at each other and finally lean in for the long overdue kiss.</p><p><br/>
~~</p><p><br/>
The End.</p>
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